Saturday, December 31, 2011

Shadow's Epilogue.... Who Needs Christmas? Free Read!

            “I look like a damn waiter,” I grumbled, trying yet again to get the stupid tux tie done. I glanced over at Terry, who was so excited about the Ball I thought he and Jade would stay up all night gushing and braiding each other’s hair.

Okay, that so wasn’t fair but I was cranky. I sighed when he stood up from trying his dress shoes. Terry was gorgeous, hot, breathtaking, and fine all wrapped into one studly ball of muscle and sex appeal. Fine, I would trying not to bitch about the stupid Ball if I got to go with the hottest man at the party on my arm.

“How can you be cranky after the fun we’ve had today?” He chuckled moving over by me and taking the tie out of my hand. “Your father gave Wade and Jade a birthday they will never forget.”

“Yeah, setting up a petting zoo in the media room with real dinosaurs will be hard for anyone to top.” I shook my head, biting my lip to keep the giggles in. “Alexi fainting was totally worth the clean up, too. I mean, it’s not like he’s fainting from his heart condition anymore so—”

“I know what you meant, love,” he replied, kissing the tip of my nose. “It was funny. I’m glad Box thought ahead to have a camera ready. And Cadan was almost as excited as the twins. I can imagine it was something he’d never thought he’d see either, and given his job, his enthusiasm was understandable.”

“Says the man who wanted to keep the baby tyrannosaurus as a pet.”
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked with a pout as he finished my tie. “He was like the cutest little thing. He needed two loving dads.”
“Right, preferably ones that wouldn’t look like dinner in a few years,” I replied, throwing my arms around him. He hugged me tightly, and I wondered if there was something more going on here. “This wasn’t just about getting a pet, was it, Terry?”
“No,” he whispered sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling me into his lap. “I have to ask you something, I know it’s way too soon for how long we’ve been mated, but I just need to know if it’s out of the question or not.” I nodded, not sure I had a friggin clue what he was talking about. “Do you want kids?”
My eyes went wide, and I felt my heart race at the idea of being a parent. Terry’s hopeful gaze turned to one of sad acceptance. He moved me off his lap and went to brush some nonexistent lint off his tux in the mirror.
“That’s fine. Most couples have the talk before they marry, and I just wanted to see what your thoughts were.” I tried to get my mouth to work, I swear I did, but it was as if my jaw was wired shut. “Okay, I’ll meet you downstairs.”
I slumped down, feeling dejected as he walked out the door. I’m sure he felt the same, but I didn’t know how to fix it. And this was the worst time for this conversation. Since we’d met right before Christmas, we both decided not to get or exchange gifts until New Years. I mean, how could I get a meaningful present for my mate without any real time to think about it? We were even going to be cheesy and exchange gifts at midnight.
I needed to think. And I didn’t have time for it. And when all else fails, I feel it’s best to get advice from the one person I trusted most on this particular subject. Or someone who would just smack me around until I got my head out of my ass… My mother.
I quickly texted Horse that I would meet them at the Ball and to please watch after my mate and that I had to make a quick stop. Then I teleported to Ireland. The guards at my parent’s castle knew me now and let me right in. It was lunch time there and I raced directly to their private dining room.
“Terry asked me if I want to have kids,” I blurted out, not even bothering to greet my parents.
She eyed me over for a moment. “And after all you’ve been through, just starting to put your life back together, letting love and your family in, the idea scares you.”
Again my mouth wouldn’t work so I nodded.
“Okay, let me ask you something then,” she said slowly as if choosing her words carefully. “You like children, right? I’ve seen you with Jade and Wade and they adore you, so it’s not that you have issues with being around kids.”
“I love the twins and kids I guess,” I replied, relaxing at the mention of my niece and nephew. “They’re great. But the twins are well-behaved. What if I got bratty kids? How would I handle that?”
“Well, since you’d be raising your own child from a baby, you’d mold them into a good child.” I could see the laughter in her eyes. Yeah, I was a dork. “What about the idea of a baby with Terry’s eyes? Maybe his gorgeous hair with cute curls.”
“He would make a pretty baby,” I agreed, liking the idea.
“You both would.” She chuckled. “And you wouldn’t be alone in raising a child, Shadow. We’d help whenever you needed it, and you have an army of uncles that would do anything for you or your child.”
“Right. We help with Jade and Wade a lot.” The more she talked the less freaked out I was getting. “How would we do it?”
“I’d find you a surrogate. Given your blood line and who your father is, it would be an immense honor for one of our kind to help in this way.” She let that sink in for a moment before continuing. “For the record, I think you’d make a wonderful father.”
“So do I, Son,” my father agreed. “You’ve got enough love in your heart for a houseful of children.”
Then I voiced my worst fear. “But I’m not gentle. I’m a fighter and violent. What if I hurt the baby? I could drop it or be too rough with it.”
My father’s eyes went wide as he stood and wrapped his arms around me. “Shadow, when you have a child of your own, something inside of you just falls into place. It doesn’t matter how tiny they are. You just know how to love them and protect them. Wade and Jade are still fragile as small children and you’d never let them be hurt in your presence. If this is what you want, you can do this.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, sinking into the hug. “He asked and I panicked, not even being able to respond.”
“Then I think you should get back to your mate and start kissing his feet,” my mother said with a laugh. “That’s not a question one just ducks out of answering without causing serious trouble.”
“Right.” I winced. My poor mate had to put up with a lot when it came to me. I wasn’t very good at this kind of emotional and personal stuff. “Will you look into finding a surrogate for us? Not for tomorrow but maybe for six months down the road?”
“It will be my immense pleasure.” She stood as my father let me go and gave me a quick hug and a kiss. “We’ll see you later this week for dinner and to discuss it.”
“Thank you.”
“That’s what parents are for, no matter how old you get.” My father chuckled as he touched my arm. I felt his surge of power and then was at the museum. I smiled. I was glad my parents were back in my life. We’d decided to start doing weekly dinners after I realized how much I missed them. They got along with Terry like cake and frosting, so it was easy to be around them without any in-law stress.
I worked my way through the crowd, already having missed the cocktail hour. Everyone was moving to their seats for dinner and that’s where I found my mate. I froze when Terry glanced up and saw him, his eyes getting dark with anger and hurt. Sitting down next to him, he very obviously ignored me and talked to Cadan, who was seated next to him.
From across the table, Horse shot me a look and raised an eyebrow. I told him what had happened telepathically and he got this look of understanding on his face that made me wonder if he and Bren had had a similar discussion. By the time the salad and first course had been served and cleared, I couldn’t take anymore.
“Will you come with me for a moment?” I asked Terry quietly.
“We’ll talk later,” he answered shaking his head.
“Please, my love?” I begged. “You’ve been looking forward to the Ball since you heard about it. I don’t you to be upset or ruin it for you. And I want to dance with the most handsome man here later and not while he’s mad at me.”
“Fine,” Terry grumbled, excusing himself before leaving the table. I trailed along after him until we were far away from the crowd and in one of the Native American exhibits. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I went to lay my hand on his arm.
“For not answering an important question, ditching me before the Ball, or not wanting kids?” He pulled away before I could touch him, and I realized I was in a lot more hot water than I thought.
“All of it except that last part. I do want children. I was just thrown off because I hadn’t thought about it yet. But when I went to go see my mother, she asked me some questions after I calmed down and I realized I wanted nothing more than to have a baby with your hair and eyes one day. I was just scared. Would I be a good parent? Would I hurt our baby because I’m not gentle? What if we had bratty—”
I was suddenly shut up by Terry’s mouth on mine as his arms wrapped around tightly around my waist. We made out for a few moments, keeping it calm and loving, instead of hot and heavy.
“I asked my mother about finding us a surrogate in six months. I thought we should figure out some options.”
“Options are great,” he whispered against my lips, leaning our foreheads together. “You really want kids?”
“Yeah. I’m not sure if I’ll be ready in six months, but I want us to have a child together. I just didn’t know that’s what I wanted, and when I saw how hopeful you looked, I panicked.” I stared into his eyes, hoping my love for him shined through. “Even if I didn’t, I’d do it for you, Terry. I’d do anything for you, my love. No matter what you want, I will give it to you.”
“Naw.” He chuckled lightly as we moved slightly apart. “This isn’t the kind of thing you do unless both parties are into it.”
“So, am I forgiven?” I asked hopefully, wishing more than anything for this night to not be spoiled.
He bit his lower lip in a cute, pondering way for a moment. “Only if I get my present first.”
“You drive a hard bargain.” I snickered, shaking my head. We separated so I could reach into my jacket pocket. “I suck at giving gifts, and I never know what’s the right thing, so that’s why I never do presents.”
He gave me a funny look like he wanted to say something, but I quickly pulled out the box and opened it. “I wanted everyone to know, whether they were in our world or not, that you’re taken. I asked my mother to help me get it commissioned from her finest jeweler.”
Terry reached out and touched the ring reverently, and I didn’t think he was just doing it for my benefit. Or so I hoped. I’d gotten him a white gold Claddagh ring with a pink diamond in the heart, because he said he liked pink sparingly and those were the best kind of diamonds. In the band there were several smaller diamonds of excellent clarity.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” he whispered as he held out his hand for me to put it on. I shook my head and placed the ring on his finger, sighing in relief that it fit. “You’re the perfect gift, Shadow.”
“Huh?” I didn’t see that one coming. Terry smiled gently as he cupped my cheek and pulled me close enough so our bodies were flush against each other.
“To me, your friends, your family, you are the perfect gift. Having you in our lives is the best gift anyone could ever have. You’re loving and loyal and fiercely protective and would do anything in your power for any of us.” He held up his hand with the ring so I could see it. “This is beautiful and I will cherish it always. But it’s just a thing, my love. What it represents is what makes it so special. It represents you and how you feel about me.”
“So you like it?” I asked, my face heating up from his praise.
“Yes, but it’s you I love,” he answered, brushing his lips over mine. “You are the best present I’ve ever gotten, and I will spend all of our days together thankful for the moment you found me.”
He kissed me again and suddenly I understood. Presents were just a symbol. It didn’t matter if it was an ugly sweater or a cool car. It was the thought put into them that mattered to the people we loved. All the presents I’d gotten this year meant more to me now, and just as Terry had said… I had the best gift ever in my arms.


The End…

Saturday, December 24, 2011

How to Make Love to an Elf by A.J. Llewellyn

When my cherished and adored friend Joyee Flynn mentioned her kick-ass twelve Christmas books in twelve days and how she wanted a blog about elves - her kind, the sexy kind. She asked if I had anything significant to add. And of course being a bit of a smart ass (well, I was the class clown way back when) I suggested a blog about how to make love to an elf.

She said something like, "This I gotta see." And of course, I feel challenged, nay, encouraged to educate you all about the private problems associated with having sexual relations with elves.

Especially at Christmas time.

Look, don't believe men, especially the human kind, when they use work as a reason not to get down and dirty. How can they say they are too busy and too stressed out to have sex? Work problems? Ha! Ask an elf about that! I mean, from June 9 to December 25, each and every year, they work nonstop.

They do have tea breaks (Elf Union Rules) but they are the horniest bunch of mystical men you'd ever want to meet.

Now, let's get a few things clear. Elves have certain...er attributes that make their tendency toward practical jokes and nasty pranks a little more palatable. You know how they say human men with big feet tend to have big cocks?

Nobody has a bigger one than an elf. Check out their ear size and double it. Yep.  Huge. I mean, really huge.

What? You don't believe me? Have you ever heard of an elf's wife complaining about the lack of sex? Do you see them blogging or writing self-help tomes or selling creams, toys and potions to try and improve their sex lives? Heck, no!

They're too busy lying on their backs trying to catch their breath!

Just so you know, elves have a bit of a fondness for humans. Men and women. And their wives thank them for it. If you're going to bang an elf however, there are a few things you need to know.

Firstly, bring creme de menthe. Drink it. I personally recommend grasshoppers, because I love cream. Blend the two with a bit of creme de cacao and you'll be so toasted you won't freak out when you see that giant schlong emerging from the elf's thin body.

BTW I should have mentioned that all elves are thin. It's all the screwing they do. Maybe Santa should have a think about that. Anyhoo, this is a quick recipe:

3/4 oz green creme de menthe
3/4 oz white creme de cacao
3/4 oz light cream


Put these into a cocktail shaker and shake, baby, shake. Sip fast. Elves like to fuck and they don't have time to waste. It's almost Christmas, for Santa's sake!

For the truly adventurous, you could add a drop of elf come and make it a Flying Grasshopper. Yep. You guessed it. Elf sex is like smoking weed. Not just any weed, but a blunt of the smokin'est Maui Wowie. Not that I would know anything about that of course.

Ahem...

Anyway, you have to make sure you have the right elf. Not all elves and humans are compatible. Norwegian elves are known to snack on salmon in bed and that gets awfully messy, especially when the salmon is still alive.

Not very sexy.

So, make things clear from the get-go. No pole fishing from the bedroom window.

Personally speaking, blood, sex and ice aren't my favorite combination but I am told that Norwegian elves are the bomb. As in, when they come inside you, it feels like a bomb went off. in your brain, and your body.

You might need the ice after an explosive orgasm like that...

Oh...did I mention elves like to bonk in rooms overlooking ice skating rinks? It's some weird rule in their union code. I didn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes.

Anyway, the rules are that elves are allowed to be naked for sex but they must keep their socks on. I think they've all been watching way too many Falcon Studios movies. I mean for fuck's sake, have you watched their videos lately? Why do the guys ALL strip naked, completely, then put their shoes and/or socks back on?

It makes no sense but elves think this is mighty sexy, but then they're elves. They work for a chubby guy in a red suit who says "Ho Ho Ho" to everything so you just know he's a dirty-minded bugger.

So. As I was saying, don't even think about asking for foreplay. Elves expect you to have started the hard work (their words, not mine) before they run and jump you for the fun part. Now, a friend of mine once had sex with a cross-bred human and elf and she swears by sex with these rare beings. They are called Light Elves. She said she hardly felt his weight on her body but loved what he did to her.

She has been in a mental institution ever since, so perhaps sex with a regular elf is better than one of the orbital beings. She claims her Light Elf shows up constantly to 'fiddle with her' but I can't confirm or deny this.

Anyway. Where was I? Oh, yes. Sex is fast with an elf. The orgasm packs a wallop. I recommend riding the elf so you can get up and leave when you want. They tend to fall asleep on top of you and their breath is kind of...fishy.

Don't think about leaving your name and number. He's already got it. And he will respect you in the morning. Enough to fill your stocking with some fun stuff...and leave you some presents, too.

So, do your research. Find a good elf. DON'T whatever you do pick a Dark Elf. They fuck for longer periods of time but they're looking for sexual hostages, not relationships. They prefer sex in dank caves and can smell kind of...slimy.

Not that I know this from personal experience. I do research, baby. Research.

My friends all tell me English elves are the best, in spite of their horrid teeth. English elves make them cups of tea, tell jokes and give them a rollicking good time by the ice rink.

Anyway, with Christmas about to come - and go - like an elf!!! - keep your eyes peeled for elves. They're all about to be unemployed and horny. Be prepared to walk funny, think green and of course, to have a big ol' smile on your face.

Until next time kids, Merry Christmas! And don't whatever you do eat Santa's cookies!

love,

A.J.
www.ajllewellyn.com  


*AJ's Giving away a copy of his new book Christmas in Flip Flops! Same rules apply, email Andi & she'll pick a winner.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I suck

Yes, I suck. Pretty well from what I hear.... but anyways. Today was hell for me, I didn't get my blog post done in time, there's snow which it seems no one in Colorado can handle even if there are mountains all around... I guess the Springs never gets it. Anyways, I had planned to write about how Button is probably one of the most like me characters I've ever written, how I always joke I need my own zoo keeper, and that's how both characters were born. BUT, big BUTT... the say has gotten away from me, I'm trying to finish Zane's story... so here: http://www.lpzoo.org/ one of my favorite places on earth. Check it out and talk amongst yourselves, LMAO. (I hope someone got that reference!)

Ummm, contest. right. I have a cat series, Purrfect Mates. What's kind of shifter is in the first book of the series? (The main character, Avery)

Prize: Signed Purrfect Mates Poster!

Email Andi, follow the rules, yada yada. *Gives big kisses, apologizes again, & runs to drink some more Mt. Dew before getting back to writing*

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I forgot

I totally friggin forgot about blogging today & the contest... my bad. I got wrapped up with Zane, Brian, & Banning, hee hee. They're distracting!

So, let's do a signed Screw Santa when it comes out in print to make up for it! (keep in mind it's not coming until Feb).

No question, just email Andi & follow the rules.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Vamps

I have a few vampire series. I like vampires, I never try to deny that. And anyone who reads my books obviously knows I find the whole idea of paranormal creatures fascinating. Are they real? Who knows and since I’ve not met every person in the world I refuse to comment one way or the other.

That being said… I tend to write my paranormals as misunderstood good guys. Not this time. The witches are assholes and the vamps are soulless demons. It was a fun twist and something different to try after writing so many books that the vampires are the good guys. Sure, the wolves are still cool (I didn’t want to screw with all the different paranormals) but the vamps are the things we fear in the night. It was hard, because I kept thinking of my Marius Brothers and the subsequent series and how they were so sweet and strong and… yeah, I got lost a few times.

And on that note… that’s why there’s a surprise at the end of series. While the vamps might all be bastards, there’s always that one diamond in the rough. His name is Terry. But we’re not quite there yet.

Today’s Question: What was my first vampire book?

Same rules apply, good luck to all that enter! Oh, the prize… let’s do any of my books, just make sure to send to Andi which one!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Crazy Holiday Cheer from Havan & Lee!!

Setting:

Joyee Flynn's house…Christmas time

Cast:

Lee Brazil – Über-talented writer and member of the Story Orgy writing group

Havan Fellows – newbie writer and also member of the Story Orgy writing group

Marius – Joyee's trusted companion and Lee and Havan's inside agent

Elves – lots and lots of hot elves…

and

Joyee Flynn – writer extraordinaire times like a hundred or so


Scene:

Lee and Havan, worried about their good friend Joyee pushing herself too hard with her new series Who Needs Christmas?, try an intervention…*cue danger music*


Havan) I'm telling you, Lee, it's true. Marius used the 'special code' for us to get our assets over to Joyee's place. She has gone off the deep end this time. There is no way that any human can possibly write 12 books for the 13 days before Christmas! We have to save her from herself!

Lee) Havan, you know I love Joyee, but she doesn't take kindly to people interfering in how she runs her life. And think of the fans, those folks will be furious if you talk her out of this.

Havan) *eyes go wide* Eeeeek the minions! They have to understand…don't get me wrong—I would give good money to be dominated by Horse, that elf is freaking hawt! And if Cave wanted to play with me like his toy I would so be okay with that and Flower *swoons* I dream of being caught in his *blushes* contraptions…but this can't be healthy for Joyee!

Lee)  So, the truth comes to light.  You've sneaked a peak at the goods, haven't you?

Havan) *blushes* Well…yeah…for Joyee's sake only…honest! I mean, why do the elves get all her attention? You know she has to be missing us, right? *looks up at Lee and pouts*

Lee)  I'm sure of it.  Who wouldn't miss your bouncy perky self?

Havan) *giggles and bounces then stops* That was a compliment right? *looks at the basket Lee's carrying* Sooooo…we both know that Joyee never remembers to eat when she is writing…whatcha bring with you? I brought the Mountain Dew! *big grins*

Lee) You kow, it’s a little known fact that Joyee is a fairly decent cook.  This is fudge made form a recipe she shared with me last year.  You'll never guess what the main ingredient is.  Go on, try... never mind.  It's Andes Mints!  Who would have thought?

Havan) Really? Andes Mints? For real? That sounds better than the Dew…*reaches into basket…jerks hand back and rubs it* Owie Lee! That's just wrong…

Lee) Oh, come on! You know that didn't hurt! Besides I left a big tin back at The Story Orgy hang out for us.

Havan) *swoons a little* You are too good to us, Lee! You know most people would suffice to write AN elf story for Christmas…yeah just ONE elf story would be enough…but noooooooo…our Joyee has to do a series of 12 of them…in 12 days…Who Needs Christmas?...what about who needs Joyee…she is slacking on the lovey'ing us department she is! *shakes head in amazement*

Lee) I'm not sure this is a good idea.  I said that already didn't I? I think this is the place. 

Havan) *looks at imposing front door and steps behind Lee* You knock…she likes you better. *nudges Lee closer to door*

Lee) *frowns* That's not true.  *knocks softly*

*door swings open…Marius appears and walks behind us…corralling us into the house*

Havan) Why do I want to make a Lassie joke right now, Lee? *giggles and jumps when Marius nudges my leg* Hope you brought treats for Marius too…hehe

*Marius leads us through the house…papers and books strewn everywhere…down the hall…into Joyee's inner sanctum—her office…clay-mation version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town on the television*

Lee) *looks around* Wow...

Havan) Awwww look at her…she fell asleep at the computer. She is so cute…I just wanna pinch her cheeks and…*reaches forward to do just that…Marius growls at me…jerks my hands back quickly* Or maybe not?

Lee) You know, I think maybe we should reconsider this.  Leave the basket, clean up a little, feed Marius, and keep quiet.

Havan) Well…she is finally sleeping some…and I agree Lee—we really don't need to be waking her up…but look…here are two of her Christmas books…Screw Santa and Hells Bells…wanna read while we wait for her? *giggles and squats on the loveseat to get comfy…looks over at Joyee with her head on her keyboard* You think she'll believe that Marius set this whole thing up? *giggles some more*

Lee) Shhh. *fingers over lips* Don't wake her.  Look, she's typing in her sleep... how cool is that?

Havan) So that's her secret! WOW!

*Today we'll do a elves T-Shirt & Signed Calendar... see previous posts for rules!

And The Winners Are....

Chicago- My Hometown
Dawna Barber

What's In A Name?
Pao Lor
 

The Speed Bumps
Gretchen Lassy

The Baby Epilogues
Melissa Carriveau

The Witches
Sheri Vidal 

Congratulations!!! I'll be sending the prizes out sometime this week 

Friday, December 16, 2011

And Now A Word From Gabrielle Evans...

It was a dark and stormy night.

Okay, no it wasn’t. In fact, I think it was bright, sunny, and about two degrees hotter than the fires of Hell in Texas. So, a little strange to be talking about Christmas and elves, right? But that’s when the idea for Who Needs Christmas? was born.

When Joyee first told me that she had this idea for a series with twelve elves who hated Christmas, of course, I thought she was brilliant. Then she goes on to explain there will be twelve books, released in twelve days, and she’ll have them all finished by such-and-such date.

At this point, I think my reaction was something along the lines of, “Are you fucking insane?” Which, honestly, was a stupid question, because Joyee never does anything unless she’s going all in, balls out. I might have even said something to that effect. I probably did. I’m pretty uncensored where she’s concerned. (Love you, snookums!)

Considering that I get bored if I write more than three books from the same series in a row, I couldn’t even begin to imagine writing twelve. It was such a fabulous idea, though, so completely original, that I couldn’t help but encourage the insanity.

Then she sent me a list of the elves’ names. I think I might have ruptured something from laughing so hard. Next came the subject of titles. Joyee likes to give me way more credit than I deserve here.
I think my major contribution to this part of the project was suggesting “Screw Santa” instead of “Fuck Santa.” Somehow, I just didn’t figure that one would fly. After offering numerous titles for the second book, I finally gave up and growled, “Well, hell’s bells!” Yeah, so my cursing became the second title. Go me!  Flush the Twinkles was actually just the fact that I can’t hear. Because when Joyee said lights, “You know, lights that twinkle,” I instead heard, “tinkle.”

Seeing the final product and holding the first book in my greedy little hands (on my e-reader) was incredible. After all the hard work and many hours, pouring everything she had into these kinky little elves, it was so amazing to see it all come full circle.

So, Bravo! Joyee. Your talent and dedication is inspiring. And this series is hot enough to short-circuit my Kindle. All I can add at this point is, “Next, please!”

-- Gabrielle Evans

We'll go easy today... What was Gabrielle's first Midnight Matings called?
Same rules as before, contest ends Dec 18th @ noon, MST

Let's do a signed cover calendar today. Good luck to everyone!!
Today's release is Down With The Tunes!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

A Blog Post from the Intern

Since June I have been interning for Joyee Flynn. When I first started this position, I had to play a lot of catch up, familiarizing myself with the events that occurred in each book from each series and learning what was expected of me in general. It was quite an extensive process, but, after all these months, I think I am finally starting to get a better handle on what I'm doing.

When Joyee began her Christmas elf series, I got to experience what it was like to start a series from the beginning rather than just being thrown in to the middle of a work in progress if you will. This gave me a glimpse into all the thinking and problem-solving that goes into developing a new series. Working with pre-editing and editing the books in the Who Needs Christmas? series was different from the previous work I had done for Joyee overall because I was given the opportunity to see and be a part of a collection of works being completed from start to finish.

As Joyee has mentioned in some of her previous blog posts, this project was not without its share of obstacles. She had done a ton of planning beforehand—making charts, taking notes, and so on. However, one cannot plan for everything.

For example, having all of the titles you were set on using for your twelve books be rejected.

This occurrence was definitely one of the most memorable ones that I had while working on the pre-edits and edits for these books. I remember Joyee coming up to the room where I was working, announcing what had happened, and asking for my and her friends help with brainstorming twelve new titles. Admittedly I wasn't much help, but it was a valuable experience to watch what had seemed a huge crisis at the time be averted with a combination of quick-thinking and collaboration.

In general, Joyee and I encountered a variety of other "speed bumps" along the way, but none of them were insurmountable. Although the process of completing this series was a roller-coaster at times, the end result is ultimately something her fans will enjoy.

-Andi

Today’s Contest Question: There isn’t one! Free entry day for the drawing!

Read these directions because only the people who do it right get entered!

If you’d like to enter please email Andi, my intern at joyee_intern@yahoo.com. Put the title of the blog in the subject line so she can keep them all straight. In the email, put your answer, full name and address.

The prize for this contest is one of the Who Needs Christmas? Books! So please include which one you would like!! *Contest ends Dec 17th at noon MST.

Good luck and today is the release of Holy Stockings!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Witches

I know some authors will pick one paranormal creature and that’s all they have in the series, without any supporting cast. I like to make each world unique and show as much of it as I can. Including which other beings are out there.

In Who Needs Christmas? I wanted to play with some of those ideas. One of which, is the witch. (Pun intended there). Most show the witches as gentle beings with magical gifts who are all about mother earth. I wanted to go the exact opposite way and show them as what we normally mean when we call someone a witch. A bunch of bitches and bastards!

So, the witches are actually the bad guys in the series. Think the ultimate con man or woman that has magic to help them. As those of you who have read today’s release know, Stupid Mistletoe, the witches are so evil that even I wouldn’t want to meet any of them in a dark alley. I had a blast on the way the elves handled them and I hope it brings a smile to everyone’s face as well!

Today’s Contest Question: There isn’t one! Free entry day for the drawing!

Read these directions because only the people who do it right get entered!

If you’d like to enter please email Andi, my intern at joyee_intern@yahoo.com. Put the title of the blog in the subject line so she can keep them all straight. In the email, put your answer, full name and address.

The prize for this contest is one of the Who Needs Christmas? Books! So please include which one you would like!! *Contest ends Dec 16th at noon MST.

Good luck and today is the release of Stupid Mistletoe. I hope everyone likes my spin on witches!

-Joyee

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Baby Epilogues

Today’s rant is going to be short and sweet… mostly because I over did it at the gym yesterday and my whole body hurts and typing doesn’t help that, hee hee. Plus, if I don’t finish the next Midnight Matings soon I’m going to start banging my head against the wall because I freak if I’ve been working on one project so much longer than it should take me.

But, back to the elves. So for those of you who’ve ready the first or second books, you know I didn’t use a very big timeframe. About nine weeks to be exact. Yeah, that took a LOT of planning on how the hell I was going to squeeze 12 different stories in 9 weeks. Kinda like sticking a circle in a square hole. (Dirty. You totally just went dirty with that, didn’t you?)

So there really wasn’t time for each elf to have his own epiphany or epilogue at the end of the book when I was already tip-toeing into the next one. That’s kind of how I ended up doing someone’s epilogue at the end of the next book. That and I screwed up. I got to the end of Horse’s book, Screw Santa, my intern did the pre-edits, I submitted it, signed the contract, and went… Oh. Shit. I never resolved his issues with Santa!

That’s how I figured out how to give them their own epiphanies and why they end the next book of the series. I think it worked out well, ends each book with little fun, and keeps it a series instead of 12 individual books!

Today’s Contest Question: So who won’t get an epilogue in the books?

Read these directions because only the people who do it right get entered!

If you’d like to enter please email Andi, my intern at joyee_intern@yahoo.com. Put the title of the blog in the subject line so she can keep them all straight. In the email, put your answer, full name and address.

The prize for this contest is one of the Who Needs Christmas? Books! So please include which one you would like!! *Contest ends Dec 15th at noon MST.

Good luck and today is the release of Hell’s Bells, the one I dedicated to my ma!

-Joyee




Monday, December 12, 2011

The Speed Bumps

There’s always a problem.. with any project in any industry or at any job… there’s always a problem. It happens, it’s unavoidable, and all you can do is sit back with your fingers crossed and pray that it’s not too bad.

There were some pretty good ones with Who Needs Christmas? I mean, yeah, like crawl in a ball in the corner with some Jack Daniels… then again since I live in fantasy world I tend to be a little over dramatic. But then again, considering it’s a twelve book series and hundreds of hours, months of work put into it… I feel justified for having a few meltdowns.

The first problem was months ago, when I was doing 4.5 or 5 books a month trying to have current releases and stock pile elves… long before anyone knew about the series. Sure, I’d talked to my publisher, a few of my friends about it, bouncing around ideas, etc.

So the phone rings and I groan because it’s the owner of Siren… Now, I want to be perfectly clear, I ADORE her and the inside staff at Siren. They’re great to work with and the owner I actually consider a friend I could turn to if I needed something and would do just about anything for. But she is the Boss, with a capital B. The great part of being an author is I can do what I want, but at times, yeah, she’s totally the boss of me. And she’s also crazy busy, so she doesn’t normally call to say hi and ask how my weekend was. It means I screwed up. Kinda like getting sent to the principal’s office.

Hell, I answer the phone, “I didn’t do it,” most of the time when she calls. Partially because it always makes her laugh. So we’re talking and she says the dreaded words no author wants to here, we have a problem. Originally, I was titling the books On The First Day, On The Second Day, etc because well, it went with Christmas, it was easy (I find coming up with titles to be very hard), and I thought it was cute. Then she informs me that the 12 days of Christmas start on Christmas and are the days following. And since we were doing the days before Christmas it didn’t really fit.

Yeah, I can’t even remember what combo of cuss words came out of my mouth but luckily she’s cool enough to realize I wasn’t swearing at her, but just, kinda in her direction. I hung up with her and stared at the wall. I was already on book four, had everything all outlined, and wow didn’t need a wrench thrown in my plans. My wonderful intern, Andi was here that day in my office, and I didn’t want to scare her by screaming in frustration. That left calling Gabrielle Evans and whining until I was a little annoyed with myself. But in true Gabrielle style, she stayed calm and simply said, “okay, then we come up with 12 new titles.”

Now, being an author, a lot of times you feel like you’re on your own little island so first off, I’d never been more grateful for a we. We were going to fix this and it wasn’t all on my shoulders. I raced up to my office, put her on speaker and with Andi’s help, we came up with 12 new titles. Gabrielle came up with the first one, Screw Santa, and I just went, “I can’t name a book that!”

“Why not?” Gabrielle asked me with a laugh. And I had no reason really besides my ma might smack me but damn it was a funny title. We went from there, coming up with the craziest, most innuendo laced titles I think I’ve ever seen. And I didn’t have to do it alone, so crisis averted.

The other main bump in the road came right after the New Orleans conference. I got another call from the publisher, this time at like 7 in the morning so there was the I’m so not up yet factor as well. She tells me we can’t call the series the Grinch Elves because Grinch is a registered trademark. Well fuuuuuuck. I’d already given out promo materials with it, had a banner designed, trailer on the way, poor Jinger had all the covers done. Yeah, huge cluster mess. So we hang up and I’m online checking… technically we could have, the trademark is for calling a character The Grinch but really, that sounded like I might just be asking for trouble.

Who do I call? Yeah, you guessed it. I called Gabrielle after my ma and bawling in her ear. Actually, it wasn’t us that fixed it this time… it was the staff at Siren, namely the EIC and Chief Imprint Editor. I sent them some ideas and they had already been thinking of some of their own. When I saw Who Needs Christmas? I called Gabrielle back and went, they got it. They got the new series name. She agreed and I wanted to drive to TX (Siren’s headquarters) and inappropriately kiss both of them for saving my ass.

Then it was just a matter of damage control. Reese Dante, who’s my goddess of all things pretty, changed the banner and trailer. Jinger, my lady of gorgeous covers, immediately jumped on getting me new ones with the right series name, and Andi and I changed the site and everything else. Yes, it was days of racing around to fix things, but it could have been a lot worse and again, I had help.

Lots of drama on this series? Hell yes, but I think it just gave the stories that much more character and a journey I won’t ever forget.

Today’s Contest Question: I actually have a book cover where there is a road on it… Which is it? (Hint: Think wolves)

Read these directions because only the people who do it right get entered!

If you’d like to enter please email Andi, my intern at joyee_intern@yahoo.com. Put the title of the blog in the subject line so she can keep them all straight. In the email, put your answer, full name and address.

The prize for this contest is a L or XL Who Needs Christmas? T-Shirt so please make sure to include which size you’d like!! *Contest ends Dec 14th at noon MST.

Good luck and today is the release of the first of the series, Screw Santa, the title that always makes me laugh because only Gabrielle would have come up with that one!

-Joyee

Sunday, December 11, 2011

What’s In A Name?

Personally, I think a lot. Which is why I have such a hard time picking character names. Certain names, normally X-boyfriends, leave a foul taste in my mouth so those are the bad guys. Some just don’t strike me as sexy, leading men type of names. No, don’t even ask me to list any, I’d so end up offending someone and I’m not falling into that trap.

In the beginning, when I was a new bright eyed author I never wanted to use any of the names that I’d seen in other books. Right… that lasted about a month until I realized that ALL the names had been claimed by someone at some point in time. Granted, I try not to use the ones my friends just used if I’m paying attention but there’s just going to be some overlap and I refuse to lose sleep over it.

Now, 52 books later, I have trouble not using names I’ve already used. I know I have a Gabriel, a Gabe… actually, I might have two Gabe’s. Yeah, that’s exactly my point, it’s hard to keep up with it all. Half my books are ménages, that’s three guys, the rest are two guys, some have more, times 52 books (I’m working on number 53), and my head spins when I try to come up with character names.

And there’s also the pitfall of using too weird of names that no one can pronounce and then I get dozens of emails asking me how to say it. Or people who email saying that’s not a real name, or they didn’t like the name, or… yeah, so I try to avoid that as well.

So when I first came up with the idea of the elves I was thinking about the world I would build and plotting… I do so love plotting. But I was talking to my good friend, Gabrielle Evans and she was apologizing because she used some first name for her character that I already had and I started laughing. We’ve all done that because there are only so many names to use.

But then I thought… what if the elves named themselves? I liked the idea and turned to my yahoo group asking them for the craziest names they could possibly come up with. I didn’t tell them the whole idea, simply that I was creating a world where at five years old, the guys named themselves. I smiled as I saw the ideas, names, and reasons behind the names rolling in. They were so unique that I’d fall over in shock if someone said they read the same name in another book. I mean seriously…

Horse. Cave. Idiot. Surprise. Why. Flower. Chiquita. Box. Champ. Button. Maze. Shadow. Not nicknames… but actual, those are their names.

I laughed so hard, I mean, yeah, I named my leading man Idiot. I used the puns, and goofed around with their names, letting the fun flow. I gave them human names, all with the generic last name of Smith because there are so many of those that it would be what elves would think Joe Human would be called.

So that’s how the elves got their crazy ass, weirdest names ever. But they are unique!

Today’s Contest Question: What is Horse’s mate’s name? (The answer can be found in the blurbs of Siren’s website or on mine)

Read these directions because only the people who do it right get entered!

If you’d like to enter please email Andi, my intern at joyee_intern@yahoo.com. Put the title of the blog in the subject line so she can keep them all straight. In the email, put your answer, full name and address.

The prize for this contest is a signed Covers Calendar for 2012! *Contest ends Dec 13th at noon MST.

Good luck and tomorrow Screw Santa comes out! The wait is almost over.

-Joyee